Rule of Thumb: Big choices for big kids, little choices for little kids.

Concept 1 ­­Choice Giving 101: Teaching Self-Control Responsibility and Decision Making
Providing children with age-appropriate choices empowers children by allowing them a measure of control over their circumstances. Children who feel more empowered and "in control" are more capable of regulating their own behavior, a prerequisite for self-control. Choices require that children tap into their inner resources, rather than relying on parents (external resource) to stop their behavior or solve the problem for them. If parents always intervene, children learn that "Mom or Dad will stop me if I get out of hand" or "Mom or Dad will figure out a solution if I get in a jam"
     Presenting children with choices provides opportunities for decision making and problem solving. Through practice with choice making, children learn to accept responsibility for their choices and actions and learn that they are competent and capable. Choice giving facilitates the development of the child’s conscience; as children are allowed to learn from their mistakes, they learn to weigh decisions based on possible consequences.
     Providing children with choices reduces power struggles between parent and child—and importantly, preserves the child-parent relationship. Both parent and child are empowered; the parent is responsible for, or in control of, providing parameters for choices, and the child is responsible for, or in control of, his decision (within parent-determined parameters).

Next month: Concept 2 ­­ Choice Giving Strategies

Excerpt from: Child Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT)


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