Middle Childhood: The Emerging Self

What to Expect

   Child:

• Initiates own ideas and actions (“self-starter”)
• Works hard to learn new skills, feels proud and wants to show what he can do
• Masters skills for success in school (sorting, counting, language skills)
• Expresses own unique personality in relating to others, handling experiences
• Has more internal control over impulses, emotions, and behaviors
• Becomes more independent and responsible in making some choices on her own
• Shows growing awareness of good and bad (conscience)

   Parents:

• Accept child’s unique personality
• Encourage healthy, balanced behavior (e.g., provide social experiences for shy child; calm, structured activities for impulsive or highly active child)
• Support child’s interests, ideas, and activities
• Model responsible behavior, help child take on new responsibilities
• Help child balance time for self and time for structured activities
• Are aware of child’s activities inside and outside the home
• Teach reasonable risks and safe limits
• Talk with child about the risks of experimenting with tobacco, alcohol, drugs (8-10 years)

When to Seek Help

   If your child:

• Is often sad, worried, or afraid
• Clings to you or wants to stay home much of the time
• Seems very worried about failing or making mistakes
• Waits to be told what to do, does not express own interests or ideas
• Avoids new tasks, experiences, and challenges
• Often seems out-of-control, acts on impulse, makes unhealthy choices
• Takes unsafe risks (with bike, traffic, play, sports)
• Shows signs of tobacco, alcohol, or drug use (8-10 years)

   Or if you, as parents:

• Find it hard to encourage independence yet set safe limits
• Are overly protective and afraid to let your child try new things
• Think your child is either too aggressive or too dependent (does whatever someone wants)
• Need ideas to help your child resist pressures to smoke, drink, or use drugs (8-10 years)

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