Rule of Thumb: Big choices for big kids, little choices for little kids.

Concept 4 ­­ Advanced Choice Giving: Providing Choices as Consequences
There are many instances when parents must make decisions for children--decisions that children are not mature enough to take responsibility for, such as bedtime and other matters of health and safety. However, parents can provide their children with some measure of control in the situation by providing simple choices.

Oreo Cookie Method of Choice-Giving

Example 1: Three-year-old Sarah is clutching a handful of Oreo cookies and is ready to eat them all (it is right before bedtime, and the parent knows it would not be healthy for Sarah to have all the cookies; but Sarah does not know that - she just knows that she wants cookies!): "Sarah, you can choose to keep one of the cookies to eat and put the rest back, or you can put all of the cookies back - which do you choose?" Or, if it is permissible to the parent to have two cookies: "Sarah, you can have one cookie or two - which do you choose?"

Example 2: Three-year-old Sarah does not want to take her medicine and adamantly tells you so! Taking the medicine is not a choice, it is a given. But the parent can provide the child with some control over the situation by saying, "Sarah, you can choose to have apple juice or orange juice with your medicine - which do you choose?"

Example 3: Seven-year-old Billy is tired and cranky and refuses to get in the car to go home from Grandma and Grandpa's house. "Billy, you can choose to sit in the front seat with Daddy or you can choose to sit in the back seat with Sarah - which do you choose?"

Next month: Concept 5 ­­ Choice-Giving to Enforce Household Policies and Rules

Excerpt from: Child Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT)


Click here to view the Parenting Tip of the Month Archives