Limit Setting

Consistent limits provide a predictable, safe environment and a sense of security.

A—C—T model of limit setting.

   Acknowledge your child’s feeling or desire (your voice must convey empathy and understanding). The child learns that his feelings, desires and wishes are valued and accepted by his parent (but NOT all behaviors). By empathically reflecting your child’s feeling you will often defuse the intensity of the feeling or need.

   Communicate the limit (be specific, clear and brief)

   Target acceptable alternatives; provide on or more choices (depending on the age of the child)

Example:

    Your child doesn’t want to eat their vegetables at dinner.
    Using the A-C-T model, what would you say to your child?


Answer:

    Acknowledge: "I know those vegetables are not your favorite and you don't want to eat them."
    Communicate: "But you need to eat a balanced dinner."
    Target acceptable alternatives: "You can choose to eat them now, or if you choose not to eat them now, but want a snack later, you will have to eat them first. I'll save them for you."


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