If you have school-aged children, then you are well aware that Spring Break starts soon. At my home, we are all counting down the days until we leave for Colorado for some time in the snow. Although my family loves to ski, there is something delightful about getting away that has very little to do with the activity. In fact, I think it has to do with the lack of activity. You see, our place in Colorado is a bit "boring". For instance, we have a TV, but it doesn't get many channels. Oh yeah, and there's no internet. And no phone. And no gaming system. It's not very exciting.

We are used to being entertained by or engaged in something exciting. I wonder...Have we traded excitement for simple pleasure? Have we become "addicted" to excitement? I came across an interesting article that speaks to these things. Archibald Hart, in his article entitled "Excitement and the Addictive Process", has stated that,

"The experience of pleasure is one of the fundamental gifts God has given us. It is so important that God created a center in the brain, called the "locus acumbans" or pleasure center, that is dedicated to it… Today, however, we abuse this pleasure center by becoming too dependent on excitement to stimulate this pleasure center and this inevitably leads us to become addicted to such pleasure."

Our time in Colorado is a great time to "check in" and see how we are doing. Can we trade excitement for the simple pleasure of reading a book, playing cards, watching the snow fall? At first, we are all a bit bored. But after a short time, something interesting happens to me and my family. We begin to feel rejuvenated. We reconnect with each other, and we come to appreciate "satisfaction" over "excitement." We experience contentment.

Paul tells us that "godliness with contentment is great gain" (I Timothy 6:8). So I am striving to choose contentment over excitement. I will no doubt feel excitement as I try to keep up with my family on the slopes; they find black runs exciting and I find them scary. But in the end, I want to find my pleasure in God, not in activities. Wish me luck!

Rule of Thumb: Big choices for big kids, little choices for little kids.

Concept 3 ­­Choice-Giving to Avoid Potential Problem Behavior and Power Struggles
Choices can also be used to avoid a potential problem. Similar to last month's example, choices given are equally acceptable to parent and child. The difference is that choices are planned in advance by the parent to avoid problems that the child has a history of struggling with. In that example, if Sarah is not a morning person and has trouble getting dressed in the morning, provide a choice of what to wear the evening before (to avoid a struggle the next morning); after she has made the choice, take the dress out of the closet, ready for morning.

In selecting choices to prevent problems, it is very important that parents understand what the real problem is that their child is struggling with. If your child always comes home hungry and wants something sweet, but you want him to have a healthy snack, plan ahead by having on hand at least two choices of healthy snacks that your child likes. before he heads for the ice cream, say "Billy, I bought grapes and cherries for snack, which would you like?"

Or if you made your child's favorite cookies and it is acceptable for your 5-year-old to have 1 or 2 cookies for a snack, say "Billy, I made your favorite cookies today. Would you like 1 cookie or 2?"

Hint: This is another place where "structuring for success" can be applied by eliminating the majority of unacceptable snack items and stocking up on healthy snack items! Structuring your home environment to minimize conflict allows both you and your child to feel more "in control." Remember: Be a thermostat!

Next month: Concept 4 ­­ Advanced Choice Giving: Providing Choices as Consequences

Excerpt from: Child Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT)

Daisy Chain by Mary E. Demuth

Mary DeMuth has done it again. I read her previous novels, Watching the Tree Limbs and Wishing on Dandelions, and fell in love with her writing. As good as those books are, and they are very good, she has surpassed them with her latest novel, Daisy Chain.

Mary states that she wrote the book “after having some significant conversations with a friend whose parent appeared like an upstanding Christian leader in public, but abused behind closed doors.” If that is your story—suffering at the hands of someone who put on a good front in public—or describes someone you know, you will want to read this book. Unfortunately, many of us know someone who appears one way in public but is very different out of the public view. Perhaps I’m jaded by my job as a counselor, but I think there are a lot of people out there who’ve suffered this way, but not all of them share their stories. As a counselor, I appreciate Mary’s willingness to tackle difficult subject matter. In Daisy Chain she does it in a way that you feel both pain and hope. There’s no saccharin here but there is redemption, and a feeling that there is more redemption yet to come.

To read the rest of Chuck's review of Daisy Chain, visit his blog the journey of faith

If you'd like a chance to win a copy of Daisy Chain, send an email to newsletter@cbcmckinney.com with your name and phone number and you'll be entered into the drawing to win a copy of the book. We will draw the winning name on Monday, March 23rd.




The top predictors of women's marital happiness, in order of importance:
(Over the next several months we will highlight one of the seven top predictors)

A husband's emotional engagement.
Women who are married to men who make an effort to listen to them, who express affection and appreciation on a regular basis, and who share quality time with them on a regular basis (date nights, frequent conversations focusing on mutual interests and one another) are much happier in their marriages than women who do not have emotionally-engaged husbands.





Christy Billings
Staff Counselor
christybillings@cbcmckinney.com

Favorite verse: Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Movies/TV Shows: Goodbye Girl, Christmas Vacation and TV series 24

Music: Christian Bands- Mercy Me and Casting Crowns; also like Martina McBride, The Eagles and Tom Petty (classics from my youth)

Books: Currently reading Making Love a Way of Life by Gary Chapman; two of my favorites are Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren and The 2 Degree Difference by John Trent

Hobbies: Tennis, hiking, biking and traveling


Dream Getaway: Rafting and hiking in the Grand Canyon during the day and relaxing at a spa hotel at night

Most Adventuresome Thing Ever Done: tandem skydiving...I screamed the whole time

3 People at Fantasy Dinner: The cast from the Carol Burnett show and my 2 grandmothers

Education: BS in Psychology from UT Arlington, Masters in Counseling from East Texas State University

Experience: I have had the opportunity to work with children, adolescents, adults and couples. I have worked with issues related to substance abuse, physical and sexual abuse, anxiety and depression.

You can read more about Christy on her staff page on our website.

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