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A Look at Burnout
by Natalia Joseph, MBS, LPC
The initial roots of the term burnout came from the work of Herbert Freudenberger, a New York practitioner in the 1970's, working at a community agency focusing on drug abuse. During that time people, who abused drugs, were often labeled as "burnouts." Being called a burnout meant that the person did not care about anything else other than drugs. Following the initial development of the term, it gained more and more popularity in the 1980's, and was a way to describe exhaustion and discord at work. Soon, a number of authors wrote books about the concept of burnout in various occupations. They used these terms to describe it: fatigue, frustration, disengagement, stress, depletion, helplessness, hopelessness, emotional drain, emotional exhaustion, and cynicism (Skovholt, T.M., 2001).
This concept has been of interest to me since the beginning of my graduate school work. Unfortunately, it continues to appear more and more not only in the caring professions but in our daily lives. Just the other day I was watching the news and saw that a teacher was charged with beating her student. Later, another broadcast described nursing home staff abusing the patients and stealing from them. Exhausted parents may choose to ignore their children or snap at them because there is not enough patience to go around; a wife may neglect the needs of her husband because of the drain at home and at work. There are many more examples of this type of burnout, but the bigger issue is awareness and prevention.
Read more...
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Parent Tip - Middle School Years: What to Expect About Building Friendships
Child:
- Has playmates and friends, feels accepted by peers
- Gets along well with others, enjoys spending time with friends
- Shares well, takes turns
- Brings friends home to play, is invited to friends' homes
- Stands up for self when hurt by peers; copes with teasing or taunting
Parents:
- Support healthy friendships (know child's friends and their families, invite friends home)
- Supervise child's activities
- Talk with child about friends, school, interests
- Encourage child's social activities, limit TV time
- Help child find ways to solve conflicts with friends
- or playmates
- Teach child how to be safe near strangers (home, neighborhood, cars, playgrounds)
- Teach skills to resist peer pressures and to cope with teasing
When to Seek Help
If your child:
- Does not have playmates or friends
- Is not willing to share or take turns with others
- Seems very nervous or shy with others, chooses to be alone much of the time
- Is aggressive or bullies other children (hits, taunts, calls names)
- Feels pressured by others to do things he does not want to do
- Is easily hurt by peers
Or if you, as parents:
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Worry that your child does not get along with others or has trouble keeping friends
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Notice that your child seems withdrawn or alone much of the time
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Get calls from other parents or neighbors about your child's behavior
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Need tips to help your child build good social skills
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Worry about the types of friends and activities your child chooses
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Observe that your child seems fearful with familiar adults, or too friendly with strangers
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Exercise: Nurturing Fondness in Your
Relationship - WEEK 6 | | Adapted from: 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, by
John M. Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire; Three Rivers Press, 2006
"Have you ever had a gripe or an angry thought about your partner that you just couldn't release? Perhaps you had an argument and afterward you just kept playing that same negative thought over and over again in your mind. Or maybe you were feeling sad or angry for some other reason, but negative thoughts about your relationship kept coming up as well.
Our research shows that continually replaying negative thoughts about your partner can contribute to a downward spiral of distance and isolation in a marriage.
One solution is to train your mind to replace what we call 'distress-maintaining' thoughts about your partner with 'relationship-enhancing' thoughts. Doing so takes time and practice, but it's worth it because it can build feelings of fondness and admiration in your marriage."
We will feature a few of Gottman's tips in each of the next few newsletters. You may want to purchase a journal to write your entries in, or if you don't like writing just spend some time thinking about these topics and your ideas. It will take some time, but as someone once said, good marriages take time but bad marriages take even more time.
Here are this month's relationship-enhancing thoughts:
| Think | | Do | |
My partner is an interesting person. | |
Think of a topic that interests both you and your spouse. ring it up the next time you can just talk.
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We respond well to each other.
If I had to do it over again, I would marry the same person.
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| Write a love letter to your spouse and mail it.
Plan a romantic getaway for your anniversary
or other upcoming occasion. |
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Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Matthew 7:13-14 |
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