What to Expect

   Child:

• Initiates own ideas and actions (“self-starter”)
• Works hard to learn new skills, feels proud and wants to show what he can do
• Masters skills for success in school (sorting, counting, language skills)
• Expresses own unique personality in relating to others, handling experiences
• Has more internal control over impulses, emotions, and behaviors
• Becomes more independent and responsible in making some choices on her own
• Shows growing awareness of good and bad (conscience)

   Parents:

• Accept child’s unique personality
• Encourage healthy, balanced behavior (e.g., provide social experiences for shy child; calm, structured activities for impulsive or highly active child)
• Support child’s interests, ideas, and activities
• Model responsible behavior, help child take on new responsibilities
• Help child balance time for self and time for structured activities
• Are aware of child’s activities inside and outside the home
• Teach reasonable risks and safe limits
• Talk with child about the risks of experimenting with tobacco, alcohol, drugs (8-10 years)

When to Seek Help

   If your child:

• Is often sad, worried, or afraid
• Clings to you or wants to stay home much of the time
• Seems very worried about failing or making mistakes
• Waits to be told what to do, does not express own interests or ideas
• Avoids new tasks, experiences, and challenges
• Often seems out-of-control, acts on impulse, makes unhealthy choices
• Takes unsafe risks (with bike, traffic, play, sports)
• Shows signs of tobacco, alcohol, or drug use (8-10 years)

   Or if you, as parents:

• Find it hard to encourage independence yet set safe limits
• Are overly protective and afraid to let your child try new things
• Think your child is either too aggressive or too dependent (does whatever someone wants)
• Need ideas to help your child resist pressures to smoke, drink, or use drugs (8-10 years)

Give your children what they need most: You

When children have problems, sometimes they don’t have the words to talk about them. Play gives children a way to communicate feelings they don’t understand or can’t express any other way.

Play therapy has been shown to be an effective intervention with children for a variety of behavioral and emotional difficulties. Research has shown that motivated parents can be trained to be as effective as play therapists using play therapy skills with their own children, with as little as 20 hours of Child-Parent-Relationship (C-P-R) Training.

Research studies have shown that Child-Parent-Relationship (C-P-R) Training can:

Reduce or eliminate behavior problems
Enhance the parent-child relationship and the marital relationship
Develop responsibility and self-control in children
Increase children’s self-esteem and self-confidence
Increase parents’ feelings of warmth for their children

Child-Parent-Relationship (C-P-R) Training is conducted in 10 weekly, 1.5-hour sessions. The atmosphere is friendly and accepting and the training interactive, making it enjoyable and interesting.

Some of the things you will learn include:

How to help your child open up to you
Therapeutic limit setting
Recognizing emotional needs and building self-esteem
Fostering creativity, self-control and self-responsibility

Classes held on Tuesdays from March 2nd through May 11th at 1:00 - 2:30 pm

Taught by: Teri Mills-Manuel and John Woodruff

Space is limited, so call and reserve your spot today!

$50/week or pre-pay $400 for all 10 weeks up front for a savings of $100!

214.585.4859

This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Adapted from: 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, by John M. Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire; Three Rivers Press, 2006

"Have you ever had a gripe or an angry thought about your partner that you just couldn't release? Perhaps you had an argument and afterward you just kept playing that same negative thought over and over again in your mind. Or maybe you were feeling sad or angry for some other reason, but negative thoughts about your relationship kept coming up as well.

Our research shows that continually replaying negative thoughts about your partner can contribute to a downward spiral of distance and isolation in a marriage.

One solution is to train your mind to replace what we call 'distress-maintaining' thoughts about your partner with 'relationship-enhancing' thoughts. Doing so takes time and practice, but it's worth it because it can build feelings of fondness and admiration in your marriage."

We will feature a few of Gottman's tips in each of the next few newsletters. You may want to purchase a journal to write your entries in, or if you don't like writing just spend some time thinking about these topics and your ideas. It will take some time, but as someone once said, good marriages take time but bad marriages take even more time.

Here are this month's relationship-enhancing thoughts:

Think		Do
I feel a genuine sense of "we" rather than just "I" in this marriage.		Think of one thing that you have in common with your partner. Write about it or start a conversation about that issue.
We have some of the same general beliefs and values.		Describe one belief or value that you share. Think about how it feels to know that you and your partner provide a unified front.
I can easily recall the time my spouse and I first met.		Write down the details you remember about your first romantic encounter with your spouse.

By Christy Billings, MS, LPC

"What Difference Do It Make?"
Stories of Hope and Healing
By Ron Hall, Denver Moore, and Lynn Vincent

This uplifting book is a continuation of the authors' original work, "Same Kind of Different As Me." For those of you who have read that book I would encourage you to take the time to add this new writing to your library of "completed" books. The book reveals a more personal side of Ron Hall and Denver Moore. In the book they share a more in depth look at their personal journeys, particularly since the completion of the first book. The book also shares stories of individuals and groups that have been affected by the powerful story of the compassion and friendship of an unlikely pair, a wealthy art dealer and a homeless man. The stories are heart-warming and exemplify the power of compassion and "loving others," with a particular focus on "love to the least of these," shown in story after story of ordinary folks opening their hearts and following God's commandment that we "love one another."

This is such a simple statement, yet extremely challenging to live out in our day to day lives. In this book Ron Hall shares his personal story of this issue in relation to showing love for his father, who he recalls as having "crawled into a whiskey bottle and didn't come out til I was grown." Mr. Hall discovers even after an eye-opening experience of dealing with the homeless and their struggle, the death of his wife, and a best-selling book, that he still struggles with showing love to someone near and dear to him…his own father.

This book breaks down the definition of compassion and loving others to a deeper level than the original writing in "Same Kind of Different as Me." The honesty revealed by each author is inspiring and thought-provoking. I would recommend this book, but with the suggestion that you read the original writing first. God clearly defines for us the importance of "loving one another," I believe this book brings to life some true-to-life experiences of God's desire for us. It spells out the challenges we face as humans in making this desire become reality. Well worth the read for the insight gained.

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