Spring has sprung. This time of year often represents a time of refreshment and renewal. As I see the blooms on the trees, the sprouting of the lilies and the renewed growth of the purple jute in my flowerbeds I feel a sense of rejuvenation in my spirit. As I am examining the new growth in my yard I am quickly reminded of the work that needs to be done in order for the new growth to reach its greatest potential. Arghh... I see pruning I need to do, raking of leaves and then fertilizing to boost the new growth. As I take on these tasks, I slowly see progress and my flowerbeds begin to brighten up with fresh color and nicely trimmed bushes. The time I invest in the yard work creates a renewed energy for me. Somehow it lightens and restores hope for me that sunny, warm days are ahead. I love to be outside and so this excites me to know spring leads to summer and thus fun in the sun is ahead.
As I experience these thoughts of renewal I feel reminded of God's vision of spring. Obviously, Easter comes to mind. The resurrection of Christ reminds me that God desires and allows us to renew our minds and our spirits through Him. A passage in Psalms comes to mind:
Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me,
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalms 51:10-12
Like the plants in my yard, I find my Christian walk is at times bright, colorful and full of life and then during other seasons of my life, my walk is dull, dormant, showing minimal signs of life. Have you ever found this to be true in your life? In order to experience a renewed heart and spirit we may have to take on the task of pruning, cleaning and fertilizing our lives. This is where the challenge comes in. This requires work, effort and commitment.
Pruning requires that we "cut-off" or let go of dead limbs in our lives. This could mean releasing resentments and allowing forgiveness to settle in our hearts. Wow, forgiveness!!?? That by itself is a major task.
What about the "cleaning" in our life. How might this look for each of us? For me, it is removing clutter in my world. Not just the clutter of junk, but the clutter that steals my time. I find myself examining how I use my time. Am I growing closer to God? Am I strengthening relationships or selfishly focusing on my needs? How about you...where does your time go? What can you "let go of" in order to make more time for what God desires in your life?
Finally, we come to fertilizing our lives. Without the necessary nutrients, water and sunshine our plants can't grow. The same is true for our Christian walk. How do you fertilize your spirit? For me, it requires studying God's word. The Holy Bible is "The Dummies Guide to Christianity." Scripture can guide us in all decisions in our life. A commitment to prayer time with the Lord is vital. This is where He speaks to us; prayer time is often when God renews my heart.
The end result of all this work produces a newness that is fresh, colorful, filled with vigor and energy. Just like our yards, when we have pruned, cleaned and fertilized our hearts and spirits God allows us to grow, bloom and be renewed. I challenge you this spring to do the "yard work" necessary in your life to experience this awesome gift from God of renewal and refreshment.
Rule of Thumb: Big choices for big kids, little choices for little kids.
Concept 4 Advanced Choice Giving: Providing Choices as Consequences
There are many instances when parents must make decisions for children--decisions that children are not mature enough to take responsibility for, such as bedtime and other matters of health and safety. However, parents can provide their children with some measure of control in the situation by providing simple choices.
Oreo Cookie Method of Choice-Giving
Example 1: Three-year-old Sarah is clutching a handful of Oreo cookies and is ready to eat them all (it is right before bedtime, and the parent knows it would not be healthy for Sarah to have all the cookies; but Sarah does not know that - she just knows that she wants cookies!): "Sarah, you can choose to keep one of the cookies to eat and put the rest back, or you can put all of the cookies back - which do you choose?" Or, if it is permissible to the parent to have two cookies: "Sarah, you can have one cookie or two - which do you choose?"
Example 2: Three-year-old Sarah does not want to take her medicine and adamantly tells you so! Taking the medicine is not a choice, it is a given. But the parent can provide the child with some control over the situation by saying, "Sarah, you can choose to have apple juice or orange juice with your medicine - which do you choose?"
Example 3: Seven-year-old Billy is tired and cranky and refuses to get in the car to go home from Grandma and Grandpa's house. "Billy, you can choose to sit in the front seat with Daddy or you can choose to sit in the back seat with Sarah - which do you choose?"
Next month: Concept 5 Choice-Giving to Enforce Household Policies and Rules
Excerpt from: Child Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT)
The top predictors of women's marital happiness, in order of importance:
(Over the next several months we will highlight one of the seven top predictors)
Fairness.
Women who think that housework (and other family responsibilities) are divided fairly are significantly happier than women who think that their husband does not do his fair share. Note, however, that most wives do not equate fairness with a 50-50 model of equality. Only 30% of wives in this study think their marriage is unfair, even though the vast majority of wives do the bulk of childcare and housework. Why is this? In the average marriage, husbands devote significantly more hours to paid labor than do wives-especially when children come along. So, in the average marriage, husbands and wives devote about the same amount of total hours to the paid and unpaid work associated with caring for a family.
Keith Harrell
Director
keithharrell@cbcmckinney.com
Favorite verse: Isaiah 53:2: He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
Movies: "Awakenings", "Planes Trains and Automobiles"
TV Shows: "The Office"
Music: Almost anything by "Derek Webb", "The Beatles", "Paul Potts"
Books: "Road to Daybreak" by Henri Nouwen, "The Watch" by Rick Bass, "Cold Mountain" by Charles Frazier
Hobbies: Drawing, Cooking, Learning Spanish, and Ping Pong
Dream Getaway: Anywhere quiet and 75 degrees
Most Adventuresome Thing Ever Done: Mono-skiing
3 People at Fantasy Dinner: Howard Hughes, Abraham Lincoln, Ziad Jarrah
Education/Experience: University of Texas Austin (Economics), Dallas Theological Seminary (MA - Counseling)
You can read more about Keith on his staff page on our website.
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