But man's ways are not GOD's ways (Isaiah 55:8). GOD is Love (1 John 4:16). When other people's love fails, GOD's love endures forever (2 Chronicles 5:13). GOD will never takes His love from us (Psalm 89:33). GOD's love is secure and does not disappoint (Psalm 86:15).

As a marriage counselor, I have the privilege of being a part of couple's lives in some difficult times and some happy times. I get to see all types of expressions of love. What I have learned is that we all fall short when it comes to loving. There is not one perfect person at loving. Just a perfect GOD. We must look to Him for examples, encouragement, and strength. Does this mean we do not ask for certain needs to be met in a marriage? No not at all! But we just know that our first need is Him.

I do not intend for this to be a quick fix for marriage issues, that is why couples enter counseling. Nor do I ever want to sugar coat the severe pain many couples are currently enduring. I also encourage anyone who is not in a safe situation for herself/himself or her/his children to find help today. But, for those who are wanting some light hearted suggestions, this might be for you! One can use these ideas not just for marriage, but for parenting, and even friendships or maybe work relationships.

My number one piece of advice for marriage . . . get ready . . . this comes to you after years of seeing clients, private practice, graduate school, etc, etc. . . . . BE KIND!!! Sometimes we forget to be kind to the one we love the most. I am often amazed at how this can transform couples. Are you saying "please and thank you"? Are you hugging, kissing, being affectionate? Opening doors? Asking "How was your day?" Cooking dinner for each other? Offering to run errands for each other? You know, being KIND?

Also, I encourage couples to try to be the first to apologize (Colossians 3:12). This is a great move of the heart and takes prayer and humility. But, when we remember that even horizontal relationships are first derived from our vertical relationship with our Father, then our heart should be moved in a way that desires to be made right. If you perhaps are in the right, then seek your spouse and offer forgiveness. Hey - remember 70x7 (Matthew 18:22)?!!!

Be intrigued by your spouse. What captivated you about him/her 50 years ago, 10 years ago, or 3 years ago? [For parents this a great question to ask about your kids, especially teens who are driving you crazy! What do I find great, wonderful, dazzling about my kid?] Get out pictures, letters, call your friends and ask them to remind you of what you used to say about your spouse when you were dating. Then tell your spouse. Remind each other- not in a nagging or hurtful way, in a fun way. Continue by going on and discovering what captivates you now. This is basically your chance to brag on each other face to face. Is this hard? Well, that just means you need to practice it and do it more!

Try these three ideas. Incorporate them into loving your spouse. Marriage is a relationship that takes refining. It is a process. Sometimes difficult, sometimes beautiful. There is no perfect wife, no perfect husband, just a perfect GOD who offers guidance to all who ask.

To learn about our services or to schedule an appointment call 214.585.4859 or email us at info@cbcmckinney.com.