When thinking of grief we most often think of death. However, grief is defined as the emotions and distress following a loss. Grief can be caused by many different losses, such as death, sickness, loss of job, divorce/breakup, move, or a change in your lifestyle. Everyone experiences grief a little differently. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed 5 stages of grief after working with dying patients. While these stages are normal, they can be stressful. Below are brief descriptions of each stage.

Denial: Denial is seen when someone either refuses to believe something could be happening or is not able to express the normal range of emotions that would accompany a loss. Often people experiencing a loss will hold out unrealistic hope in order to deny the loss. Often you will hear people say things like: "This can't really be happening", "The doctors must be wrong".

Anger: During the stage of anger people will attempt to place blame on those around them or often God. They seek to look for fault. Often the blame they place on others is unrealistic. This is a confusing stage as most often with loss there is no one who can legitimately accept full blame. Often people in this stage will say things like: "You could have stopped this by ______", or "Why would God allow this to happen".

Bargaining: During the bargaining stage people attempt to keep the inevitable from happening by convincing another person or God that they will do something in return for preventing the loss. Ex. "Just let me live to see my children get married", "If you let me live, I will be a better person", "I will work nights and weekends if I can just keep working here".

Depression: During the depression stage people become teary and they have less interest in normal life. They are not able to enjoy their life and spend a great deal of time reminiscing about the loss and often see the person or thing that was lost unrealistically. Ex. "I am just so sad", "They were such a great person".

Acceptance: In the final stage of acceptance, people finally come to place where they are able to move on. They come to terms with the loss and an understanding that their life will continue. They may still experience some sadness when thinking about the loss but are not overwhelmed by it. Ex. "I am going to be ok", "There are many ways that I am blessed and I have many things to look forward to".

Ways To Cope With Grief:

• Talk with friends and family members who will listen
• Get involved in your Church and seek the fellowship of other believers
• Get involved with a support group for those going through similar losses
• Contact us to set up a counseling appointment

During the grief process it is normal for people to cycle through the stages until final acceptance is achieved. However, some people get stuck in a stage for long periods of time or consistently cycle through the stages. While everyone has a different speed for grief, sometimes people are not able to achieve acceptance on their own and need the help of others. This is when counseling may be a good choice. At CBC, we are committed to helping people navigate through the hard times in life and to face their struggles in order to move toward acceptance.

To learn about our services or to schedule an appointment call 214.585.4859 or email us at info@cbcmckinney.com.